So, Saturday and Sunday turned out to be really excellent.
Sunday we went to Walmart and got a new bed, and it's a bit smaller, but it's kosher, so we're happy.
Although it seemed kinda deflated this morning-so we're monitoring it. If it's on the floor when we get home, Walmart is getting nuked.

Sunday we went to the Mall. It was so cooooool!
First we went to Merlins. He knew of this really cool store and he wanted to show it to me. He was so excited! We parked the car and he showed me how to use a parking meter. I'd never used one before, (going to the city ain't a thing I do a lot right now) so for me, it was a delightful experience. Then we went to Merlins, which is essentially a gamers heaven. Comic books, D&D games, RPG games of all types, DVD's, Manga, you name it. IT was awesome. I bought him a new edition of an RPG Game called Paranoia, since he's the only GM in our area that does that, and he was adorable.

Then we went to the mall, where we had a pretzel, went shopping, and generally just talked.
Unfortunately, I went into Icing, and ran into Jared. Or at least, I think it was Jared. I couldn't tell. But the girl with him was his type, and she was trying on earrings and stuff. As soon as we walked in, he looked at me, and then turned at such a way that I didn't see his face. I was slightly uncomfortable, but it wasn't the immense pain that I used to have upon seeing him.

SO yeah.

Thats about it.

Tomorrow I have my ultra sound and it'll be cool.

*sigh*
Today, I was horribly supplemented. Again.
It seems every time I turn around, I think I have it alright. I look at my past experience with men, I look at current relationships, and I look at patterns.
And I see crap.

TODAY. I was reading this blog. This husband AND father was talking about how his beautiful wife was great and wonderful and going to her friends house for the night and how he missed her and his daughter was gonna be gone, blah blah.
Then the next paragraph he's talking about this new woman he can't stop thinking about and how he can't wait to talk to her.

And my heart, and the ground I used to put relationships on, crumbled a wee bit more.
I want that supplication. I want to read about 1 man who is completely content with his wife and children. I want to read about someone married for 15 years+ and is still in love-or at least still happy.
And I haven't seen ANY. I've been perusing blogs for a while, and am given to understand that they write their secret dreams and desires and life out onto that blog. They have to somewhere.

The computer is an evil thing, I think.

Which makes me worry about my own relationship. Steve is a gamer. Gamers are notorious for constantly looking for the next best thing. Always better, always flashier.
And after a while, they get bored. They get bored, they move on. Grass being greener or something.
Will he get bored with me, if we get married? Once he knows I am his, will he decide it's time to move on in his conquest? I don't know. I feel so afraid....afraid to know. And then I realise I have an insecurity when it comes to marrying this man-or any man. Will I ever be able to love and trust him-as he does me? *sniff*

The deflating trauma continues.
Last night I woke up only once. I've actually come to accept that at three in the morning I am doomed to have my chest and my belly button folded together. Either that, or Steve, (heavy-weight sleeper of the world) becomes the center of gravity , and if you can picture it, he is wrapped in ALL 3 of the comforters, I'm practically on top of half of him, and the pillows are sticking out in odd tufts, looking like a nest. Only it's a crazy center of the bed universe that will quickly turn into a black hole.

So we're going mattress shopping today.

Olive Garden was an adventure. 11 people from work, life, and family, showed up and we had ourselves a grand ol' time. Awkward was the fact Matt was there.

Matt is one of the servers at Olive Garden-also used to be one of my best friends throughout much of grade school, middle school, and high school. Things went well, we had a pretty okay relationship: Matt was highly revered for his voice, and I kicked his ego down a coupld of notches here and there. We were good for each other friend-wise and I could never date him. Too high and mighty, and he had notions about how girls should be.

So, anyways, a couple of months ago, Matt called me up and asked me to have sex with him. His girlfriend/fiance had refused to have sex with him until they were married-entirely her perogative and to each their own. Anyways, I was appalled. Told him I was in love, pregnant, all that. And he was dejected and I told him to go to church. That'd help.

And we haven't spoken since except one time when he apologised and said he was sorry for being a heel.

Hmm.

Anyways, we haven't really spoken and he refused to talk to me at all last night, not that I pressed him or anything.

Then Steve and I went home, and Steve got all whiny.
Whiny because Steve ordered Kingdom Hearts II. And he doesn't have a Playstation 2 to play it with. I do. And I'm pissed off as it is. For one, it was in his brothers room, on for God knows how many WEEKS without anything being done, and it was buried under garbage, clothes, and my playstation 2 games-which now have no cases, are scratched beyond recognition, and when I play them, they make funny noises. Frankly, I'm pissed. It's an expensive PS2 mini, and it has sentimental value. The fact that it was so blatantly mistreated shows that they have no respect for me. Perhaps they do, but I'm not seeing it.
Anyways, I'm playing Kingdom Hearts right now, and Steve wants to play it too. Steve has a computer. He plays Second Life, he plays all these games and gives me almost no attention unless I try and seduce him. Usually that doesn't work either, depending on the game he's playing.
But as I was saying, Steve wants to play Kingdom Hearts, and I am playing it. I haven't beat it, I want to get a whack at it. Not only that, but Steve says he's playing Kingdom Hearts II first, since he bought the game. When I mentioned it'd be kinda hard to play without my PS2, he got kinda upset, saying that would be really mean and that wouldn't be cool.

Somehow last night he convinced me that he should get to play KH, and this morning he said, "I get to play KH tonight."
And I'm pissed.
Look. He gets uptight if I play on his computer. Before I brought back my PS2, he was okay with me sitting on the bed bored while he blew up enemies on the computer.

And I have nothing to do now. He'll be playing tonight, and he gets really nervous when I get on his computer. Like he's afraid of what I'll find.

*sigh*

Other than that, yeah. Not much else is going on. Day after tomorrow I find out what I'm having.

Oh crap. I just realised I forgot to go to that Health and Welfare meeting.

Ladies and gentlemen. Payday.
Yes.

I have limited bills this payday and so, things are awesome.

I'm having a hard time, because Steve's bed is an inflatable bed--that wont stop deflating. At 3:00AM this morning it deflated-again.
I was groggy, tired, and wrapped in my deliciously portable goose-feather bed.
And my butt was gently brushing the floor.
So I had to ungently wake up Steve, advise him we needed to fill up the bed, get off the bed, fill it up while falling asleep while waiting for it to fill.....
Yeah.
SO tomorrow we are going mattress hunting.

And I hope to GOD that Robert, Steven's dad, is gone at that point. Whenever I am over there he bugs the crap out of me.
R: When are you gonna find out what you're having?
S: Oh, Monday.
R: What are you hoping for?
S: *contemplating the ramifications of answering this question...*
I honestly just hope for a healthy baby.
R: It's gonna be a boy.
S: Oh, huh. That's cool.
R: What, you don't believe me? You don't think I know what I'm talking about?
S: No. I didn't say that. I'm not trying to offend you.
R: Right. Well, it's gonna be a boy. So, you two ain't gettin' that fat chicks place, are you? Didn't you run over her cat last night?
S: Yeah. Not on purpose.

(another time, I will tell that one)
R: I wont let you.

See, Robert has this knack of trying to butt in on our relationship. We had a checking account together. We were being irresponsible and spending more money then we had. And we had both decided that we were going to close the account.
Well, it took longer-we had checks still going through, promises we had made, people we had written checks that we were talking to-etc.
Robert, "worried father" told Steve if he didn't close the account he would kick Steve out. I was moving, and Steve's mother and father told me that they were no longer helping me move ( 1 hour before I was supposed to be moving) because Steve had recieved a letter stating he had a bounced check.

NOTE: Steve is 25 years old. Steve is a grown man. Steve has no motivation to move out if they coddle him. That's a fact. Not a conjecture.

So I pretty much told his parents to themselves: essentially putting Steve in a tight spot.
Well, blood is thicker than sperm, and Steve told me I shouldn't have talked to his parents that way.

After a long talk, we worked things out.

But to this day: Robert is the bane of my happiness at that house.
R: Alexander? You're thinking of calling your son Alexander? What, is he a fairy? A pussy? GAY?
R: No way are you moving into that house. I wont allow it.
R: Look. It's the car *I* co-signed for. I love my car.
*guess who makes the payments? Not asswipe Robert.*

Lets just say Robert and Sharon, Steve's parents, are telling us we need to get out on our own: but refusing to let us do it. It seems they constantly have something to criticize us for.

In other news, I have single-handedly managed to not work while getting paid for three days now.
Barely have I spoken to a customer, and even more barely have I actually looked at my computer.
I find it rather talented.
But today was get back with your clients day, so I got back on the stupid phone, and recieved their many queries, and advised them on how to insert large objects into their rectum.

It's a beautiful life. And somehow, Steve and I are letting another one into ours. Oy.

Last night, I was a happy woman.

I went bowling! And it was awesome!

At the bowling alley we went to, they had this killer deal:
0.25 games
0.25 shoes
0.25 fries
0.25 drinks

5.00 down.

We went on a relatively cheap budget, with our pocket change and change from the weeks in hand, and had a BLAST! It was quite possibly one of the funnest things that had happened. Wendy, my good friend showed up, and that was great too!
Then, afterwards, Steve and I spent the night together.

It was an interesting night apparently. Steve and I cuddled, fell asleep. Apparently I started nuzzling him and stuff, and he was getting upset, and kept telling me to leave him alone.
Then he fell asleep and woke up later and decided: wow. the chick next to me is hot. And yeah.
You can guess where things went from there.

Funny things ensued though: Steve had this really expensive, "indestructible" air mattress that got destructed. We duct-taped all the sides and stuff, and then fell asleep. It helped, but the bed is still deflating.
So I have to go back today and take a look-see at what's going on.

In other news, Monday I find out if I'm having a boy or a girl.

Oh. And I want to rant slightly about my "in-laws" as I call them. More specifically, Steve's father. Who criticizes everything from our choice of house to our choice of baby names.
I don't like being around him very much. He makes me ill-tempered.

But enough about that. Steve just got out of his meeting, and I only came to work with him to find my incentive score, update my team boards, and check my emails.

Work.

Anyways. G'day!