So I went home yesterday.
Ugh.
I am so sick of this groove that I'm in. I can't stand feeling so tired and sluggish and icky all the time. I drink a lot of water. I eat tons of organical foods. I walk whenever I can. I just-phhhh.
I can't seem to get any energy. I think it's because I'm entering into my third trimester, and so my energy may be slowly slipping away from me. Huh. Amazing the things that come to mind when I type. Heh.

In other news: Steve got demoted to agent on the floor for looking on the internet whilst young double jackers (soon to be agents) looked on. So he got yelled at. He shrugged, closed it, and that was it.
And I guess that wasn't it. I guess they let him go. He called me kinda upset and we talked for about 15 minutes, and I let him vent, and then he got off the phone, and I watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire-which somehow managed to make a couple tears trickle down. Granted, the acting super sucked, and the big names weren't enough to make the movie really good. But some of the special effects made it enjoyable, and if the dog hadn't bugged me the entire time, licking my face and elbows, I might have enjoyed it more.
That and I was crocheting.

Then afterwards I made au gratin potatoes and steamed brocolli and carrots, so by the time Steve got home, I had dinner ready. It was great.

I was talking to his mother, and I found out something.
When I mentioned some stuff that Gabe had said, Steve had sought out his mom for advise. Of course, talking to me, he played it cool. But when his mom talked to me, according to her, he was upset, ready to kill Gabe. (ex, hehe)
My mom said based on the words Gabe had said, he must really love me. And I had to agree. And I guess she told Steve that if he didn't really love me, to let me go, because there was someone out there willing to take care of me. And Steve went out and got me a ring. I think he's just scared.

So Steve is back on my team, and no numbers posted today. I hate it when that happens, seeing as I can't update the board and tell people how much they rock or suck. *Sigh* At least I get a small break from marker fumes....though I find them rather nice.....LOL.

Okay. I'm done for now. Hope everyone is having a great Tues......

So I went to a bachelorette party. Yesterday. And bailed out after only a few hours. And for good reason.

Seriously, I know now why I love men, and have only 3 women friends. Women are terrible to each other. At this party they fought, hissed, backstabbed, and damn near killed me twice in an attempt to kill each other. After a few hours-hell the party hadn't even actually started, I was calling Steve and telling him to pick me up.

My friend was getting married and we were having a rather...erm....dirty party. As in, it was rather penis oriented. they had male-member cupcakes, "pin the masculine on the man" and manhood shaped balloons. Someone got the great idea to write "PENIS" in big letters on one of the walls.
And then my friends mother walked in. She was invited to the party. And she brought the bride-to-be's 7 year old sister. KNOWING FULL WELL that the party was very adult-oriented.
Smooth move. So the bride starts fighting with her mother; another girl keeps telling my friend that she was harsh towards the bride for telling her to calm down for a few seconds so we could get some work done before the part; yet another girl glowers at me every three seconds and announces loudly that I don't need special attention just because I am pregnant.

Screw that. My friend Jen dropped me off at her house, after I claimed major lower back pains, and Steve took me home.

When we got there, I went upstairs and Steve suddenly just wrapped me in this huge hug, and told me he missed me. I was very touched. :) Then I was sleeping for awhile, and then I played Kingdom Hearts-which I pretty much had to look at the FAQ for almost all of The Deep Jungle, and some of the Colosseum. I kept getting upset and giving up, and then going back to it. I was a big poor sport. :(

Then I woke up this morning and looked at his phone, because Rob had text-messaged him, and found a text message from Robyn, the aforementioned girl-asking him to call her, wanting to talk to him. After looking at dialed calls, I noted that he hadn't called her, and then I asked him.

I don't mean to not trust him. In fact, on Saturday I told him he was on the borderland, "no mans land" of cheating. He may not be doing anything wrong, technically, but he was grazing the line and allowing it to happen with his habits.
So we made a pact to not be alone with a member of the opposite sex, and if we were, to call each other and make sure it was okay. That way I felt better, and he knew I meant it.

So far it's worked-I went to Harrison with a couple of friends and then took the scenic route back-and Joe asked me if I wanted to hang out with him for a few hours-so I called Steve and left him a message, telling him where I was, and who I was with. I felt very proud of myself. And of course, he went to a party that night that was all male. :) He was very happy, talked about it for much the next day.

Other than that, things are great. :) We are pretty happy. I just hope no stupid female screws it up. And by that, I've analyzed that I can't stand single women or women of questionable stature. Even women that are dating have no scruples-not even married women. I have to be careful, and I pray that Steve is careful as well. :( *sigh*

Apparently, I have a great love for Opera. Which, I suppose is valid. Charlotte Church, Josh Groban, Sarah Brightman...all singers of my generation, and I love them to death.

I wish I could be an opera singer-as it is, I barely carry enough of a tune to sing solos at church on Sunday.

I guess I'm shy that way.

Last night was an interesting night. Our peace was broken last night. I had fallen asleep and he was downstairs when his phone rang. I looked and the name said "Komatose." For some reason I thought it was his friend "Kalekit" and answered. When a sultry voice came on the line I was kinda shocked. She thought she had the wrong number. I assured her it was indeed Steven's number, she kinda relaxed.

And then the slow circling began. Kinda like two female cats sizing each other up.

Me: So, what's your name?
Robyn: Robyn
M: Ah. So, where you calling from, Robyn?
R: South Dakota
M: Oh. What time is it over there?
R: 3:00 in the morning.
M: Wow. Kinda late. It's 12:00 over here.
R: Yeah. So, who am I speaking with?
M: Stephanie.
R: Are you Steves..um...friend, or sister?
M: No, I'm his uh girlfriend.
R: Since when?
M: Since...like August or something.
R: Wow. He never told me about you.
M:
R: Yeah....so uh, you've been dating for a while?
M: Yeah. I'm also pregnant with his child.
R: Wow. He never told me anything about you.
M: So what's your relationship with Steve?
R: I don't really know right now. I mean, we've always been friends, but yeah. I mean, we were never dating or anything...just friends I guess.
M: You guys ever date?
R: Nah. I don't do the long distance thing.
M: Oh. Well, thats cool.
R: yeah. So my battery's about to die, so I have to go.
M: yeah. Okay, I'll tell Steve you called.
R: okay.
M: bye.
R: bye.

I sat on my bed and stared at his phone for what seemed an eternity. Then I decided: well, she left a voicemail-I wonder.....so I went to check his Voicemail....he had changed the password. It had to of been recently.
I felt lost. Scared. I shook. I didn't cry though. I was trying to sort out what to do, whether I should talk to him about it then: what with Morgan and Mike there, I didn't know that it was a good idea.

Anger never listens to reason. I went down the stairs, and charged at Steve. Who was outside.
He knew immediately that something else was wrong. And of course I made a complete idiot of myself. I didn't see Morgan or Tick. I just kinda said: You have one chance to tell me. Just one.
And he got exhasperated. Then I exploded, told him exactly what I was told. He was kinda subdued and quiet and then said he was mad at her for making me upset and that he never was involved with her or anything.
I told him there are more than 1 ways to be unfaithful. He said: No there isn't-except blatant sex.

But I beleive there is. If he goes to a club looking for booty, or talks online and looks at pornography, that to me is dishonorable.

It's a struggle.

this morning I thought it had been a bad dream, and asked him what happened. He said if I couldn't remember, it was probably for a good reason, or that I probably didn't need to know: and then quickly changed the subject.

Am I being gullible, I wonder?

So right I feel inside
Your love lights up your eyes
The sight almost makes me cry
I never thought I'd feel this way

My heart always skips a beat
When our hands accidentally meet
Shyly our eyes may nervously greet
As if we'd never spoken before

What does our future hold
Will we die young or grow old
I don't know how we got so bold
I want to be near you forever

It continues, and I may have caught the bug. Even now, I say "your mom" in response to everything. It may not be tactful, may not be work-appropriate-but it's entertaining, and even made our sour faced CEO crack up. your mom. It is rather funny, though.