Oy vey. Sorry it took me so long to get back here. Between the moving, the house warming party, the plague, and the bowling injury, I haven't really had a chance to stop and talk.

So. Let's see. I poured my heart out to Steve and shared with him what was hurting me, and he felt really bad. Genuinely. He held me close and let me cry and told me how much he loved me and that I meant so much to him.

We had the house warming party-and it was a zoo, as I expected. What made it better was the fact I was sick the entire time. Not only did I look like a ghost with frizz, but I projected vomit, called for Steve every hour for some more 7up or water or something, and slept feverishly.
That sucked horrendously.
When his friends FINALLY left (oh, about 6:00 PM the next night) I pretty much made him cuddle with me.

I've been slacking on keeping the house clean. The bathroom really needs some shine, the kitchen counters ought to be disinfected again, and Alex's room has clothes all over the place. Don't ask me about my room. I blindfold myself before going in there to avoid crying. I'm just running low on energy. Over a span of 4 or 5 days, my stomach got harder than a freaking rock. I woke up one morning and went to work and went into the bathroom, and was shocked to see the protruding belly. So was Steven.

We went bowling, which was fun. Except my first game, second frame, I tore something near my groin. Not pretty. So I had to deal with that.

We have had a crazy work week. Monday I was still sick, so I went home after 4 hours, I was ready to die. Tuesday and Wednesday, we had to go in at 9:00, and work until 7:00. Yesterday we worked 8-4. We came home, and Steve started playing Kingdom Hearts and I went back to read up on what to expect the next few weeks. I had no clue about some of the stuff labor had.

I mean, I'm due July 11th. Thats like....10 weeks away. 10....weeks. It seems so close. I'm starting to think more in terms of after the birth, rather than the labor. I worry about the first bath. Will I accidentally drown my baby? I worry about trimming his nails. What if I accidentally cut too far? What if I drop him? Will he drink my breast milk?

Oy. These worries do plague me.

Another thing that plagues me is that lately, when I talk to my mom, I have nightmares about her trying to run my life that night. She takes my baby away like it's a toy or something-and it usually ends up with me killing her. Makes me wonder what is wrong with my head, just a little.

So yeah. A very brief update, but now that I'm back into it, I wont be to much of a hurry to let it go.

You ever do something you completely regret, and wish had never happened? Meant it to reassure you, but it didn't?

I just did something very stupid. I was trying to figure out how to set up a gmail account, and Steves gmail just came up.

Ever curious, I decided, well, why not? Let's see if Steve has anything interesting in here.

I was thinking maybe some baby magazine stuff, or a ring or something.

No, I found stuff from other girls. Or rather, stuff he sent. Granted, this was all right before he met me.
Unfortunately, some of the things that made me so happy-are now making tears slide down my face. He called someone else muffin.
He dedicated the song that I wanted to dance with him at our wedding to "the love of his live" some 6 months ago.
He sent tons of pictures-never has he sent me any.
And I look around me and think, you know, obviously he loves me now, seeing as he got a place with me and everything, right?

So why does it hurt so bad?
Why does my heart hurt?
Why do I feel betrayed?

We're moving. (Not Steve and I) I mean at work. Some genius upstairs decided that my entire department is better off on the 3rd floor, which is in the "sunshine". Woot.
Not really.
I don't want to move my stuff two flights of stairs. All this transitioning costs the company money, and then it costs us time and money to get everything moved. And, we aren't getting paid. They want us to empty our desks, clean everything out, all that before or after work, or on our breaks. As if we have the time to get here and do all that crap. I mean, we're harassed on our breaks as it is. *snort* Sometimes I wonder why they're even management-they can't even manage a move correctly.

In other news, I'm pretty comfortable at the homestead now. We've fallen into a routine: We come home, Steve checks the mail, I start dinner, and we eat and I watch Steve play Kingdom Hearts while crocheting or reading. Then I go to bed around 9:30-10:00, and he stays up until around 12:00. Woohoo.

So yeah. That's about it for me. I have yet to talk to Francine... .....I kinda don't want to. But it has to be done.

Peace out my Streamies!

SO I've decided that I want to start something. Each Tuesday, I want to complain about the TYPE of people that call me. It may be a wee bit angry....but mostly so I can vent. *sigh*

Ahem: To start off this great Tirade, we shall talk of:

The Okays



ahem. The Okays. A fairly rare occurance, perhaps a once-a-month customer, the okay-er's are customers that must agree with everything the agent is coaching them on-repeatedly. Conversations may go as follows

A: Okay Ma'am, before we go further I need to verify your information.

C: Oh, okay.

A: So, I need your teleph-

C: Okay. Yeah sure.

A:..one number, area code first?

C: Yeah, okay. Its XXX-XXX-XXXX.

A: Alright thank you. And could you also please verify the name and address-

C: Oh, yeah. Okay.

A:....on the account?

C: *gives information*

A: And do I have you're permission-

C: Mhmmm, yep.

A: ( )...*ahem* do I have your permission to access the account?

C: Yeah, sure. No problem.

Such conversations, though not completely common, are a topic of great venting for agents and consumer specialists alike. The Okay-ers may trying to be assertive, or may be trying to tell you that you need to hurry it on up, but it only serves to frustrate and stall the process of the information.

How to stop an Okay:

If the customer is agreeing with every thing you say, allow a 2 second pause after each okay or over-used affirmative to subtly show the okay that the kay's really aren't needed.
If the customer still okays you, stop giving information. Ask the customer what questions they have and how they can help. If the customer asks again, continue such antics. If the customer wants to be off the phone, you'll get the thumbs up. And if the customer wants you to continue, you can explain the okays were signalling you otherwise.

Characteristics:

Repeated affirmations punctuating each question of response.

Vague sense of happiness-most okay-ers are happy-go-lucky.

Noise in background-most especially common at work stations, in stores, or when TV sounds very loud.

Next week: The Elderly.

I'm crocheting. And I hate what I have so far. I messed up the foundation. Granted the rest of the stupid blanket is absolutely perfect. But the bottom few rows look funky. Which makes me mad. I'm tempted to take it all out to do it again.

I'm worried about payday. We have so many bills to pay that we *have* to pay, that we're kinda floundering. We have to pay for the car, for cell phones, for the bed, for internet. *sigh* I just hope we have enough for food, gas, and cigarettes. Perhaps Francine wont mind if we give her half this payday and half next payday. I don't like the idea of shorting her money, but if we want to live at all, I think we may have to. (poopy)

In other news, I have some issues with Steve's staulker. She likes him, thought I was his sister, (until I severely straightened that little mistake out)and still tries to talk to him. Yesterday, Johnny asked her where she needed to be dropped off, and she mentioned the same apartments that we were living in. And he laughed and said he lived there, and so did we!
She walked away, but in the hallway, she said "Steven lives there. I wonder if we could find his apartment and talk to him."
She may have said 10 words to him. I told Steve and he was all gaffawing and ho-humming about it. He laughed. Said he was slightly flattered, but creeped out.

Uh.......huh.



In the mean time, I do have a blanket to crochet, foods to eat, and customers to placate. Keep Streaming, my bloggy friends. I need to know your lives! Hehe.