This is me. Me on Nyquil. The GREEN Nyquil. Of doom.

This is me. Me at work. Me on Nyquil. The GREEN Nyquil. of doom.

This is my boss. My boss is not sick. NOR is she on Nyquil. The GREEN Nyquil. Of doom.

This is my boss. The same one who isn't sick, but just barely missed getting coughed on. And she still is not on Nyquil. The GREEN Nyquil. Of doom.

This is my coworkers. Who are also not on Nyquil. Who think the world is wonderful and beautiful, and have not witnessed the tremendous transfiguration my body has gone through in 48 hours. Not on Nyquil. The GREEN Nyquil. Of doom.

This is me, at 8:50 this morning, when Forrest called to remind me I was supposed to be at work an hour ago. This was my face as I got ready, ate my cereal, and ran off to work. Drunk off of Nyquil. The GREEN Nyquil. Of doom.

This is Steve, at 9:15 this morning, when I was dropped off at work, worried that I might not have a job. He is drunk off of Nyquil. The GREEN Nyquil. Of doom.

This is me, at 11:01 AM, swimming through the morning, my head getting heavier, my throat aching achier, and my eyes drooping steadily faster. Damn the world, leave me alone. Drunk off of Nyquil. The GREEN Nyquil. OF DOOM.

I got so sick I couldn't do anything, at all. Steve had to baby me. I took one steamy hot shower after another, and curled up in bed and coughed pitifully. I threw up chocolate pudding and chicken noodle soup. The first of which actually tasted good.The second of which-I must say, one ought to close their eyes before one sees how chewed up chicken stuff tastes like.

Steve did not get the job. We all thought he would-the woman had such nice things to say about him and he seemed very positive about it himself--but no call ever came. We waited up for hours, hoping she was just taking her time. They could have called and at least told him not to wait around for us. Don't they realise that it isn't just the employee-to-be's that were hanging on with baited bereath, but the family's of aforementioned tortured souls? We were slightly devestated.
Then I was just plain mad, because people were calling in the middle of the night to find out.

Steve's parents found out about him getting laid off from CP-from none other than loud mouth Clint-who is also the limpest wrist in Idaho. Apparantly, he had no clue he'd done anything wrong, and acted innocent about it-until Steve squared it away that Clint was never again to talk to his parents about him and his personal life. It wasn't his job, and it made Kelly look like an ass, and we both felt bad. Surprisingly, his parents took it extremely well, and talked it over with him. He was petrified they'd try to take his car away, but I knew they wouldn't.

Got paid today, and Steve got paid more than we expected. We paid insurance, car payment, and our internet bill. Then we got food, a toaster and coffee machine, (we've been really needing both!) a broom, some drinks to try and ween Steve off of the Mountain Dew, his cigarettes, and thats really about it. Oh, and shampoo stuff, and coffee and stuff, but other than that, notta. The rest of the money I put towards next paydays bills. We're gonna need it if Steve doesn't have a job by then. He's been out of work for almost three weeks now. If he doesn't have a job by this Friday, I may have to do something drastic, because this is NOT going to fly. I'm in a ton of pain, getting sick all the time, and i have trouble moving. I can not be expected to work 40 hours + a week because he's afraid of rejection. Or whatever. because he doesn't want to work a certain food place. too bad, at this point we have no choice. I love my man to death, but seriously, this is getting redicules. He needs to be out there every day, looking diligently, instead of applying on Monster.com over and over again because he thinks Internet is the way.



*sigh* It's rage, and complete tiredness.

He really is trying, he applied a lot yesterday-and he is really sick-so I need to cut him some slack. He's been trying, and he hates that he doesn't have a job.

Other than that, I haven't got much to update on. I guess at this point I'm waiting and hoping.

here's to a future unknown.

I feel large and in charge today. I wonder if my belly can actually get any larger....I wonder, I actually do.

So, in the news of my day:

Steve is at a job interview, AS WE SPEAK! I am so excited for him! I hope things go well- it wouldn't do to come back to a man who's upset or sad because the job didn't want him. It's about time, and if he does....oh, I will bake him anything he wants. I would be so happy.

On the highly downsloped side of things, I get my test results today about the gestational diabetes. I'm sure they would have called me if I had it, right? I don't know, but I am half and half on this. Most of me hopes I DO have it, because then I know the fatigue and the crazy thirst and habits I'm having are from, and I'll know there is relief from them. Some of me hopes I don't, obviously because the whole needles and stuff that is associated with that.

(10:58) So Steve just emailed me: apparantly he'll know around 6:30 whether or not he got the job, but he's very optimistic. And it pays really really well, so that excites me. If he does get it, he'll be getting the same amount himself that we both were getting at CP. That excites me to no end! Maybe I'll be able to take maternity leave without stressing after all!

Anyways, streamers, it's my lunch time, and my handsome should be here soon, so I have to go wait for him. I am very happy, and will be even more happy if I find out I dont have to puncture myself.

I was under a little stress today-worrying about our next payday bills and how we were going to manage everything. With Steve out of a job and all, and me being a major procrastinator, I was stressing.
We had a large amount of money left over, and I was impressed, and thought-we'll save it and everything should be fine.
Unfortunately, I left the money with Steve.
Suddenly no was a word unheard of, on both of our parts. We went to Starbucks-twice. We bought fun stuff for our house. We ate out.

Suddenly, the almost 100.00 that we had saved up.....turned to 21.00. And we were both devastated. Two days, and we had vanquished the money we had saved to get stuff for alex.

I was so disheartened, I started to cry, and Steve tried to comfort me. I felt so irresponsible, and I felt like I would never get anything right.

After I calmed down, I organized my thoughts. I started by getting out envelopes and writing the necessary bills we had to pay each month. Then I went from there and Figured out which ones we needed to get money orders for, and which ones we paid with Steve's Debit-Charge card.
From there, I organised the cleaning schedule. I organisedour meal schedule.
Once I felt I was in control of my surroundings again, I felt alright. I was able to calm down, take deep breaths, and face my dilemma.
I found that to make this work, we had to be able to say NO and stick by it.

If we hold back a little now, we can have more in the future. I need to stop being such a baby and work the overtime I'm saying I will. I wont come home unless it's because I literally am sick. Otherwise, I need to stop procrastinating. I need to start crocheting at work again-doing that made me want to work, and I felt more in control. In addition to that, I also want to organise my desk, and compile something that I can use during calls to better reference for customers. You know, numbers I need and all that. If I can get completely organised, I will feel far more optimistic, more in control, and I'll be better able to handle whatever fate throws our way.

July 11th.....66 days. Thats 5 more paychecks until Alex comes-on my side. Hopefully Steve will have a job by the end of this week. Monday he's gonna go out and hit the resteraunt row, hit each one there, and the gas stations. Hopefully he'll get a job at one of them. I can't imagine he wouldn't though.

We can make it. I must be strong, and Steve must be diligent. Right now, beggers can't be choosers-Steve can work overtime if he needs to.

Steve isn't doing too well, and I am worried. After the infamous firing, he's been kinda holing up, and hasn't been as open as he used to. When I go to bed at night, he usually comes up to cuddle me first, so I can fall asleep. But these past few nights, Steven has spent it quiet, tense, and upset. Last night, we talked about it-Steve said he felt like a failure, that he had let me down, and that he had no faith in himself. It's kind of a mid-20's crisis or something. I don't know how to help him. I encourage him daily, tell him he's doing so wonderfully, and remind him that it's a temporary situation. I bake him muffins so he'll feel better, and he smiles....but his eyes are empty of the joy I used to see there.
We are both very worried about our situation: The baby is weeks away, we have so much we need to do. Will we be able to pay our bills still, if we both have terrible jobs?


I am so confused.

Besides that: Forrest and Jen came over last night and we watched the Family Guy, ate a fancy dinner, and joked around. It was late, and I was tired. So Forrest and Jen went home, Steve and I went to bed.

The only other news: We got our VOIP service set up yesterday. It works really well, actually. No echoes, no random disruptions, nothing. The only issue I have is if our service goes down for the internet, we will also be without a phone. I think I may need to go with a company that'll give me 60 minutes or something a month for emergency purposes. Because if the internet goes down, we can't even call 911. So it'll be important.

I'll surf for prices. And pay off my cricket bill.