Cassie and I are having issues.

I was not aware that my talk of the wedding was bothering her-nor do I know why. But I see what she did as a ploy to try and get Steve to resent me.

What happened was that I had been talking to her about the wedding and about how much different things were going to cost. And we laughed and talked about the different options. Well, things seemed fine, and I was very happy. The next day, I was playing on the cell phone, and saw that we had an abundance of text messages, and read:

I'm just pissed that Steph thinks she can spend what she wants on the wedding. As I see it, it's your funds, not hers.
I can't help you if people keep poking holes in the bucket.

I was livid. First off, whether or not I use Stevens money to pay for the wedding is none of her business. Second off, I explained to her the day we were talking about said wedding that I was going to pay for it out of my paychecks, mostly.

She knew that. It looks more like a ploy to get Steve pissed off at me and to break things off.
I slammed the phone down next to Steve, and said: "If you didn't want to get married, you could have just said something."

Then I yelled, "Sorry to piss you off about my wedding, Cassie."
Then I walked out the door.

I calmed down and went back to the house and no one was home. Come to find out, they had gone to the pool to go swimming, and Cassie was taking care of my son. I was even more pissed.
I went in, grabbed Alex, and said: "You have something to say about it, you should have said it to me." I left. Steve followed. He started yelling at me about being paranoid and not respecting his privacy. He was telling the truth, I was paranoid. I see men as cheaters. I can't trust Steven because he lies to me about money, he's lied to me in the past about where he was and who he was with, and talks to Cassie about our problems.

It's just frustrating.

I dunno what to do. I have to think.

Alexander is surely the cutest baby in all the land-yet the li'l boy can get frustrating in a heart beat. He wants to suck-all the time. And no binky will do. No. It has to be a bottle, or my index finger.

I mean, I'm flattered my index finger is so comforting to him, and all, but I'm trying to pack, eat, sleep, and get things rolling-and none of that seems to be happening at all.

Not only that, but Steven seems intent on making it out that Alex hates him. Which I assure you isn't the case. Alex is just really perceptive, and realises that Steve is frustrated when he can't make things right immediately. So Alex squalls and sqwuaks and just stares at him. Steve is getting more brave. I remember when he would barely hold him. He was so afraid he'd break him. Now he's just...sure of himself. He can change a diaper, feed the baby, rock him to sleep, give him a bath, clip his finger nails....things are looking good!

Cassie still hasn't had her baby, and I'm beginning to wonder when it's gonna happen. I'm gonna be there when it does, unless something else happens, but I hope her labor is easier than mine! Mine sucked, even with the epideral.

That's pretty much all for me. It's been a mundane Monday, and tuesday will be that much better! Tomorrow is Stevens and mine 1 year anniversary. Unfortunately, we have no money or gas, but we can more than likely still enjoy a swim at the pool or something.

Sorry I've been away for so long. I've been moving, stressing, growing, and stressing a wee bit more. This is a very stressful month for me! We're moving into this gorgeous new house with an amazing amount of space! Four bedrooms, two baths. Large yard. Etc.

It's really nice, I must admit, and I can't wait to move in-which will be on the 26th!

The landlady is Eastern European. It's odd, we were there signing the lease and her aunt and her were talking in their native tongue and I felt....envious. I wanted to know what they were saying.

They gave us some of their old furniture and stuff.

Forrest and Jen got married last night-finally! It was a beautiful ceremony and I wish that I was getting married RIGHT NOW!

In 2 days, Steven and I are going to have our 1 year anniversary. I'm really excited about it. I can't wait to smile and see him smile at me and know that we've made it.

*sigh*

He's supposedly plotting on proposing on October 4th. So we'll see. ;)

That's about all I have for an update right now. Things are really busy, but I'll try and update as I can.

Here I sit, on blogstream, another comment about to be posted, when my eyes scan the smilies under the comment screen....frown? Nah. Smile...eh....paper bag.....maybe.....Christmas tree? I sadly shake my head, as I realise, those two smileys, Oh bearded Smiley Clause, and Tree of little use, will be used for only a month or so. And it makes me long to use them more. I want to use them...they taunt me with the inappropriateness they cause if put on a comment congratulating a happy step in life, or for a post about a death in the sheep herd. The smile on Smiley Clauses face makes me grit my teeth each time I pass him now-he reminds me that Christmas is not close enough-and when the time comes, it'll all too soon go away.

I lean back in my chair, contemplating how best to rid myself of the bearded man. And his quiet but staring tree. Hmmm....mayhaps I can pretend they are but interesting smileys made to confuse bloggers....

Hmmmm.....

Hmmmmm......

Hmmmmmm.......

Hmmmmmmmm...........

I'm going insane! I can't help it! I just want the stupid Smileys to stop smiling at me all the time! WHY! WHY! Why can't they turn around, and politely not exist until the appropriate time? Aughh!

Thanks for all the Birthday Wishes, Streamers: It really brightened up my day.

I went to a really great Greek Restaurant and ate baclava and some hummus and eggplant spread with pita bread. It was a great, light lunch, and then Steven and I went and did laundry at Ryan and Cassie's house.

The biggest news though, was that I took Lisa, my old room mate, and one of my bridesmaids, to Planned Parenthood-which offers free pregnancy tests.

you know what I'm getting at.

Lisa is preggers! She's the second person I brought into Planned Parenthood that came out an expecting mommy! I'm happy for her and her husband Brian (who, by the by, got married, TODAY!) and can't wait to spoil her rotten.

Liberty Lake is looking more and more like something that needs to happen, and I can't wait--or can I? I am afraid of Ryan's temper, but I know he would never harm a human being-just his dog, unfortunately. i can't abide people who take their anger out on their animals, and Zinc is the sweetest dog I've ever met. She is so nice, and loving...
maybe Ryan just has a chemical imbalance, or some mental issues. It might be a good idea for him to see someone about that. *sigh*

The clock is ticking...17 days until Steven and I are officially 1 year! w00t!