Large developments. LARGE.

Okay. So Cassie and Ryan wanted me to give them my entire pa ycheck, which I could not do. I mean, I have a son to feed, and If I had no gas, I couldn't get to work.
Cassie played the victim. She said that I was a liar, and I talked badly about her. Well, no duh. However, I had my reasons. They lied, were hypocritical, and I was venting to Steven. If I'm gonna pay 550 a month, then I plan on being able to say what I please, since they stripped us of every other decency. They took my sons door off of his room, because Ryan felt it inconvenient to get to the computer room. They didn't contribute to the food pile-in fact, they diminished it when we weren't looking, and then got nearly expired orange juice from their father to "make up" for it.

So Steve doesn't have a job at the moment, and he was really worried-my two paychecks, even if they were combined, wouldn't have made the rent. I had already given 145.00. Mhhm. Well, Cassie and Ryan told Steven that I had to go. He could s tay, even though he was unemployd, but they didn't like me, and didn't want me around.

*sly grin* Now, I remember, coming home after Cassie said that she really needed 145.00, and that it would go straight to rent, but she needed it so she could make her insurance and phone payments.
Hmm. I come home to drinks from target, books, clothes, and an array of new stuff-for them!
So. When they told me that I had to leave because they didn't like me, and I had to take our (steven and I's) two month old son with us, I decided to do exactly what they said they wanted me to do. "Take care of family first."
I immediately put a stop payment on the check and started looking for a place to stay. Steven obviously chose to go with me-we're a family!!!
His parents are cold-hearted. They said that they didn't want me in their house-that's another story. But lemme give you a run down. *ahem* I felt really lost after I had Alexander, because I didn't feel all close. In fact, I was petrified of him. So afraid I was gonna turn out like my real mom-abusive. They say 80% of children abused end up abusing their own. And I had an anger problem. So I turned to the only people there at the moment. Sharon and Robert. Steve's parents.
The next day, after they offered watching Alex for the night so Steve and I could have some time off. The next day, they told me I couldn't have my son back until I got professional help.
One s tep ahead you ignorant people! I had already spoken to Lactation Services, Child Protection Services, and a Case Worker. I got on Zoloft. I w as being talked to every few hours. Everything was kinda going good. Wish I hadn't explained what I did to Robert and Sharon. And Robert new. I told him that I had gotten help, that I was getting meds.
So, when they tried to take my son from me, heads nearly rolled. He was a few weeks old, and they wanted to take a breast feeding baby from his mother. I don't really think they were looking out for him. I think they were trying to
a) create drama
b) keep control.

I pretty much told them to go someplace warm in a hand basket. Took my son.
Since I stood up to Sharon, she's hated me ever since. They get mad at me because I wouldn't forgive them....why? Because Robert called me the next day and called me a child murderer. Not a good move pal. You have to remember. You have no claim to Alexander, nor will you ever. You are simply a controlling man, who can't help but try and control everything in your sons life. They have taken so much from Steven and I.

So, more recently, we moved in with Cassie and Ryan, and they went to our old house. There, they decided I was trying to kill Alex by putting thumbtacks in jello water, and Kill Steve by crushing up pills-they found white powder everywhere. Did they ever stop to think that perhaps I was making Alexander formula and formula powder was on the counter? or, the one I think is really true, they made it up to try and make Steve think I was psychotic.
Steve was on the phone with his dad, and his dad said some pretty bad things about me. He said I was a psycho bitch. That I was a murderer. That there was something wrong with me.

Um....*raises hand*...if someone does actually have post-partum depression, is it a good idea to call that person a psycho, a child murderer, and tell them that they aren't welcome in your home? Do they think that raises their chances of seeing their grandson? Cause, um, right now, I don't want him going over. Because every time he goes over there, he comes back, and without fail, about 2-3 days later, it starts. The "your girlfriend is a child murderer, and she's abusing you. Domestic Abuse."

Okay.

I'm done.

I told Steven that we are severing all ties with these home-wrecking individuals.

But Steven can't seem to make up his mind. His girlfriend, (who he claims he wants to marry) or his parents: Who, by the way, made him move back in while they chased each other across the country because they didn't like each other,and raise his little brother, while calling him a "horrible mistake," and telling him that he would go crazy when he was thirty because it "ran" in the family. So Steve didn't even want to pursue a college education because he didn't think it would matter-he'd go nuts when he was thirty, right?

I can be overbearing, and Steven and I talked, and we agreed some things needed to change. So, Steve is in charge of finances. Steve has more control in the relationship, and I have agreed to listen when he has something to say, and if I get really angry, he'll tell me, and things will be okay.

When things get better, I plan on doing the following:
a) mail back the phone on the cell plan belonging to his parents. Even though it is my job that is paying the bills, I am apparantly not allowed to take the only way to keep in touch with Steven with me-so that if something happens to Alex, I know. No, Robert said if the cell phone doesn't stay with Steve, he'll turn it off. So, either Steve keeps the phone, and his parents know EVERYTHING about Alex before me-(or...in their case, they'd rather I didn't know...at all) or else the phone is turned off. SO.
Our first plan is to get an apartment.
THEN, we plan on getting our own cell plan. THEN.
We plan on getting our own car.
THUS. Severing all ties with the controlling psychopaths that somehow raised a son that was good and kind. Though talking to him, I was amazed he was able to function at all. I know they gave him a complex of some kind.
*grr*

SO, they told Steven him and Alex could stay with them, but I could sleep on the street as far as they were concerned.

I'm...done. I want to shoot something-they really frustrate.

Sorry. I don't mean to be mean. I just feel...frustrated, because I wanted someone to watch Alex tomorrow, because tomorrow is a special day for us, but Steven said his parents would refuse. He doesn't want to tell them that we're getting married, because he thinks they'll refuse to help him.

*sigh*

Okay-GOOD news.

Steven is planning on proposing to me tomorrow. I know because we decided from April 4th-6 months later, if we could handle living together, and spending every night together, then we may make it.
So that would be tomorrow. I'm trying to keep it low, but inside, I'm jittery, and scared. Think Steven is too.

So, I dunno. I pray to God that Steve does what he thinks.

*sniff*