Early. Thats what it is.

Quiet? Not exactly. Steve is snoring to wake the freaking apartment complex. Seriously need to suffocate his nostrils or something.

Today is going to be a horrible day. Seriously. I have so much that I have to do today, that I'm not sure I'll be up for it.

Not only that, but all three are equally important, so I can't miss anything.

At 10:00 my good friend Lisa is getting married atop a large hill. So, guess who gets to dub the prego dress and floppy shoes and large brimmed hat? Some large lady next to me. I'm going in comfortable prego attire, because I have too many issues to do anything else right now.

After watching her get married,I have to sprint over to Jens house, (sprint meaning Steve drives there a little more tensely than usual)
to help fill out envelopes for wedding invitations. I promised her this a month ago, so I can't not do it.

And then, thanks to my spur-of-the-moment, inconsiderate mom, I have a last minute BBQ that I "Have to attend" and"I must bring something good!"
*sigh* I don't think my mom realises that I have enough problems trying to get anything done as is right now. My feet are swollen, as are my ankles. It hurts to bend any which way. And on top of that, As of Tuesday, I'll be full term, though I've already started dialating. I'm almost 2 cent. now.
Not only that, but we're broke, and trying to conserve. Try telling that to my Mom.

Me: Mom, I don't know that we'll be able to bring much. We're kinda strapped for cash right now. We're just gonna make a dish with the stuff we have and bring it over."

Mom: "Oh thats fine. While your at it, don't forget to pick up several things of soda over as well."

Me: Um, I can't? I don't have the money?

Mom: It's because you eat out all the time, isn't it? You should've been more responsible and more aware of other events. Bring orange soda, and a couple of others."

Me: Mom, I'm not bringing soda. I can't really afford it. Further more, if you wanted me to save money, you might try telling me about this BBQ more than 4 days in advance. I can't just drop everything to do this sort of thing. I have other plans too this weekend, and I'm already leaving my friends house early.

MOm: When are you leaving your friends house to come here? Don't you have to make the sauce?

Me: I'll be there at 2:00.

Mom: Unacceptable. We eat at 2:00. You'll have to leave earlier.

Me: I'll try. Thanks Mom.

My grandma is going back to Michigan to settle things before moving up here with us. So my parents are throwing a BBQ-and neglected to tell anyone about it until about a week ago. Suddenly she's handing out LISTS of food for people to bring.

I love my mom, I do. But seriously, she can be so oblivious to what anyone else wants.

Speaking of which, my sister Ashley had her baby. *awww, how cute!!!!*
Ashley, rightfully so, doesn't want to let anyone hold the baby yet. Her baby, she has that right. My mom had the-erm-grace to get royally pissed of at my sister because she didn't want anyone to hold him. She calls my grandma, and starts freakign out saying Ashley just offended her by not letting her hold the baby, blah blah.
My mom has no sense of discretion, I think. Odd thing is, my level-headed grandma is along the same lines on this. My mom actually said "Babies are meant for other people to hold."
Yes Mom. Thats exactly it. Ashley gave birth so that every Tom, Dick, and Harry could hold the freaking baby. Nope, not a human life, at all.
So Now my mom is offended, and both of my grandmothers are, because Ashley said that she wanted to wait to let people hold the baby, because the babe is immune more so than other babes to certain everyday diseases. After a few days of breathing in the germs and stuff, things'll better.

It's her right. As a mother-to-be, I have to agree with her. I don't think my mom realises what she's doing to her own kids. She can be so selfish sometimes. Ashley asked her to not tell everyone to come to the hospital, that they would call us. Mom ignored her wish and called all the sibs. We ended up waiting at the hospital for hours. Then my mom wants to go into the room to see Ashley. She's giving birth. My mom gets all miffed and everything, and pouts in the waiting room.
At the rate she's going, I can see she'll alienate Ashley all over again, and cause her to just up and leave.

*Sigh* Too early to get worked up this early in the morning. Besides, Kairi is batting at Steves face because he wont stop snoring, cauing him great confusion. Sometimes, that obnoxious kitten that claws my legs horribly, pounces the wall, and runs after you only to fall all over herself-she's got some pretty good ideas.

I'm gonna go lay down and enjoy my remaining morning time before the Storm hits. Seems like tomorrow, I'll probably be ranting about the horrors of today. EEK.

I feel frustrated and angry today, and I hate it.

On the plus side of things, my sister Ashley had her baby, and he was healthy and very small!

I went in to the hospital at about 2:00 this morning because of major pains, but of course, by the time I got there, the stupid pains were no longer there. Four hours of keeping me awake, and I tried everything! I took a bath, I stretched out my legs, I walked around, I drank a ton of water, I sat down, I sorted cards, I typed on the computer. But Nooooooo. Nothing helps. I get into the ER, and they get all concerned, and then bam. Nothing. I was kinda mad, especially since I had to stay until almost 4:00 that morning.
Went to bed, Steve's dad decided 10:30 was a good time of the morning to give Steve a pep talk.

*stare* What? Oh, right, you guys don't know what happened.

Steve got let go his second day in at Dairy Queen. They overhired.

So Steve's devestated, and all upset because he thinks it's something he did, when I'm sure the poor guy who's running the place just had his head up his ass and decided to make someone really happy for a whole day.

Sometimes it feels as though the world conspires against us.

A few days ago, I was thrown a surprise baby shower, that was fun. My mom is promising me that she'll buy the crib, dresser, and changing table. I asked for cherry oak color, so hopefully that comes through. Though, knowing her, she'll probably procrastinate in it. I'll be very surprised if it's there before the baby is, because my mom doesn't really get things done unless they're for her.

I am grateful. Just having a bad day is all, so all my news is tainted with bitterness.

Steve's dad offered to teach him truck driving. Good salary, but Steve would never be home. That would suck. Steve also got offered a job doing grunt work, but he doesn't "know" about it.

And thus, here begins the rant:
Steve had ample opportunity to study the Commercial Drivers License Manual, which is extremely thick. Does he? NO. He instead wants to play on the computer, or read his role playing books so he can finish his cutsie little project. As if we have the time. Neither of us are working, neither of us are getting any income. And all he can think about is how his online life is going.

I'm seriously about ready to slam his ass up into the wall and tell him to get straightened up or get lost.

It's 11:00 in the morning. Steve is still sleeping. And he was grumpy at me, because I was trying to get him up to get him to do the stuff that needed to be done.

Funny thing: Whenever we try to get stuff done, Steve always gets this sudden wild hair up his ass and hates the world for the whole day. If we go out job hunting, he's "depressed." If we clean the house, he's "depressed." If I tell him that he needs to get into shape so he can work construction or something, guess which emotion he gets into? Depressed. Looks like I have to take things into my own hands.

I think I'm gonna jump off maternity leave for a while, and go back to work, since he has decided no income is the best solution for everyone. I know, it'll probably stress me out, make me hurt more, blah blah blah, but I have no choice. He doesn't clean, and if he does, it's only after serious prodding. When he does clean, he doesn't rinse the dishes, he just throws them in the dishwasher as if expecting the large chunks of tomato goo are gonna clean themselves right off. When I can cajole him into cooking dinner, instead of doing something with the left overs, he leaves them out all night, and lets them get bad. So we ruin completely good food, the kitchen gets moldy, and the dishes that he attempts to clean, he usually says he needs to run through two times or more. Any wonder why our bills are so high?
He doesn't work, and uses the excuse that DQ let him go as a poor me soap box attempt so that he can get sympathy. I don't have any sympathy for him, okay? I don't. ALMOST THREE MONTHS AGO he lost his God Damn job and now he expects that because the only two times he's gone out, gotten interviews, and followed up with them, is because I rode his back the entire way, I should still praise him.


I'm so sick and tired of this. I am. I can't handle the pressure and the anger any more. I need money in order to live in this house. His insurance is probably deactivated, his car payment is more than likely over due, his rent is being paid by his parents, Who can barely afford to help out as is, and all our other bills? We don't know yet.

It's high time he acted like a man, or went back to his parents, because my baby and I can't take this, at all. We can't handle the stress.

I'm sorry. this was more of a Venting post then anything. *sigh*

I'm trying to remain optomistic, but how can I?

If I try and give him a kick in the ass to get moving-he gets mad and thinks I'm treating him cruelly. If I talk nicely, he walks right all over it.

His parents and I are in agreement now: He needs to get his ass into gear, or go away. I can't support this baby on my own, I really, really can't.

*sigh*

Ugh. I'm so frustrated, I'm gonna go clean something.

Oh, so by the by, I am going to be sending out baby announcement thingies to people and know that some of you have been here since the beginning and probably want them too! Sophist, I wont take a no on. You are getting one, whether you like it or not.

So, email me your addresses at stevenandsteph@adelphia.net or kungfububblegrl@hotmail.com. IF it's at the adelphia one, it wont go into junk mail, so your odds are better I'll get it. So yeah.

In other news: Steve did get the job! He starts Friday at Noon. That excites me so much!

Forrest and Jen came over to celebrate, and we ate spaghetti and talked. Good fun, it was!

Other than that, not much has been happening. I'm hungry. Gonna munch.

After today, hopefully, Steve will have a job. Thanks to li'l ol' me!

I mean, had I not pushed and prodded him to do call backs, he might not have had this wonderful opportunity.

Now granted, my next goal is to get going on school stuff. Then maybe I can get a better job-ya know, do the whole further yourself thing. I want Alex to grow up extremely well-off. I want to be able to provide for him, and know that we have a great family!

In the meantime, I do need to get back to work. I'm slacking on it, though I don't want to be. *sigh*

I think my creative juices are starting to flow again. Wonder if it means time to get back into writing or something....I dunno. I do need to do something though.

They should have a blog thing where your emailed the thing you ought to blog about for the day.

For people who don't have enough to talk about-someone should make an email list of stuff we ought to write about each day. Email people just a random topic or word, and let them go. It's a brilliant idea. I wonder.....hmmm....

ahem! I am now 35 weeks pregnant!!! In 2 weeks, I will be full term! EEEEEK! I am so excited and happy and full of flutterbys! EEK! This the email I got-from Babycenter. IF you don't go there, you should. They email you once a week to tell you what may be happening!

Great stuff!

EEEEEEEK!

How your baby's growing: Your baby's getting big. He weighs a tad over 5 pounds and is just over 18 inches long. Because it's so snug in your womb, he isn't likely to be doing somersaults anymore, but the number of times he kicks should remain about the same. His kidneys are fully developed now, and his liver can process some waste products. Most of his basic physical development is now complete — he'll spend the next few weeks putting on weight.
• Note: Experts say every baby develops differently — even in the womb. This developmental information is designed to give you a general idea of how your baby is growing.

How your life's changing: Your uterus — now up under your ribs — has expanded to about 15 times its original volume, and you may feel like you've run out of room! If you could peek inside your uterus, you'd see that there's much less amniotic fluid and much more baby in there now. Your ballooning uterus is crowding your internal organs too, which is why you probably have to urinate more often and have heartburn and other digestive problems. If you don't have these problems, you're one of the lucky few.

Your doctor or midwife will probably want to start seeing you every week until you deliver. She may ask you to count fetal movements, to track your baby's activity level. Between now and 37 weeks, she'll also do a culture to check for bacteria called Group B streptococci (GBS). This is done by swabbing the lower end of your vagina and your rectum — the swab is the size of a regular cotton swab, and it won't hurt at all. Group B streptococcus is usually harmless in adults, but if you have it and pass it on to your baby during labor and birth, it can cause complications (like pneumonia, meningitis, or a blood infection). Because 10 to 30 percent of pregnant women have the bacteria and don't know it, it's important to be screened. (The bacteria come and go on their own — that's why you weren't screened earlier in pregnancy.) If you're a GBS carrier, you'll be given IV antibiotics when you're in labor, which will reduce your baby's risk of infection by 70 percent.

This is also a good time to fill out your birth plan. Using our form will help you focus on specifics — like who will be present, what pain management techniques you want to try, and how long you want to stay in the hospital. It will give you a starting point to discuss your preferences with your medical team. Labor and delivery are unpredictable and you probably won't follow your plan to the letter, but knowing ahead of time what choices you have to make can take some of the anxiety out of the process.

EEEK! Baby is on its way! OMG! I can hardly wait to see him! EEEK. Now, to try and calm down to go to bed!

!!!